In my first entry I asked you to take this journey of healing and change with me and I hope that you will. So as you continue to read this entry, I want you to go back to you childhood along with me and together lets pull these bandages off these wounds that obviously didn't heal but actually got infected and spread down into our adulthood. No one put ointment on these wounds and they didn't even take us to the hospital for proper treatment . Why? Because some of us never told our parents we got hurt and if we did, they didn't believe us, or did nothing except COVERED IT UP with a bandaid.
Are you ready? Let the healing began.
When a baby is born the VERY first priority for a parent is protection and shielding that baby from any hurt harm or danger throughout their young life. While we know its virtually impossible to protect a child from every fall, bump, bruise and every inch of pain, its the parents responsibility to help with the healing process of the bump or bruise by kissing it and making it feel better.
A baby's MOST IMPORTANT need besides food and shelter is TOUCH. It is very important in growth and the development of the baby.
During the WWII a rather brutal experiment was performed on 2 groups of infants. The first group of infants were held,rocked, TOUCHED and stimulated in a physical manner. The second group of infants were fed and changed but not held or TOUCHED in any other manner. The first group of babies thrived and grew into well function, while many of the babies from group 2 died and failed to thrive that the experiment was called off. See Link Below:
http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15173/1/The-Importance-of-Touch-in-Parent-Infant-Bonding.html
So you see touch is a matter of life or death and is very important. Even as adults a hug, holding of hands, a warm kiss, a hand on a shoulder showing support or encouragement,laying in the arms of the one you love is very important and soothing to the human heart, mind ,body and soul. But the wrong touch can and will have a traumatizing affect whether consciously or subconsciously the affect is lasting. I'm talking about molestation, rape, physical abuse and even abandonment by a parent for most of us its a father that walked out on us. ( I'll be talking about that in another blog real soon).
This is for my sisters that once you saw those horrible words it produced chills, anger or even a vivid vision of that once dark place from our childhood. Yes I said our because I'm not exempt from these words I type. I was violated 3 times ages 6 and 9, once by my mothers male friend, and twice by my mothers boyfriend (I thank God penetration wasn't involved). After that second time I would go outside to play when I know we has coming over and didn't come back in the house until I knew he was long gone. Do you remember your Ordeal?
What must be going through a child's mind when this awful act is happening ? We just want it to be over! We close our little eyes and think of a happy safe place until the ordeal is over. We say what happened too the protection our parents promised us? Where were they when these demons from the pit of hell came and damaged the innocence of that beautiful little girl they use to hold in their arms protecting us for this very danger????? Somewhere there was a breach in protection; At home,at school, at a relative's house, by a parent, at a party even in the streets. Where ever or what age your violation happened.....IT HAPPENED!!
This person didn't have permission to touch us. Some gained our trust only to break that very same trust. For some of you it tore down the very foundation changing you forever. For the rest of us we took it put it in the back of our mind in a black metal box to remember it no more. So we thought! I know its hard to talk about or even think about. While I'm here giving my testimony, this is a healing for me as well. I want you to know that you did nothing wrong and you didn't deserve what happened to you nor is it your fault. What didn't kill us only made us STRONGER. We may be bent but we are not broken.
My sister my hope for you is that you find healing in this blog and although its a painful touchy subject its necessary for the next step of moving on in life and overcoming this situation to be a BETTER you not a BITTER you. The people that violated us are sick individuals that also may have been victims themselves. I say this because I know of some victims that became a predator themselves because they too were TOUCHED wrong. Its a demonic plague that has to be stopped; A curse that has to be broken and pulled up from the roots to die. Addressing it and having support is the only way to heal my sister. We even have to pray and forgive the person that violated us, not them but for us!!! I'm talking about this because its one of the reasons our life's as young woman have been disrupted with periods of loneliness fear and doubt. We made some bad decisions because of what has happened to us in the past and we cant seem to get it right. Thats why I'm blogging to help change the negative mindset of woman with the same issues Ive overcome and still dealing with now. Here Is My Prayer:
Heavenly Father I come to you as humble as I know how. I Ask right now Father to give comfort and strength to every woman that is reading this blog . Help her to find the complete peace within herself. Help her to get that joy and happiness back to put the past behind her and for it to never hinder her life again. When it tries to show its ugly head again give her the ultimate power to rebuke it and send it back to the pit of hell from which it came. Help her know she is beautiful worthy of love and happiness again. Father I want to even pray for those individuals that violated us, where ever they may be God I ask you to convict them in their spirit for what they have done as you give us the will power to forgive them and ourselves.
In Jesus Name Amen.
Thank you for you time and comments and please join me again for Part 2 of The Touch next week.
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