You Deserve......

    A lot has been going on and I've been away for a while because God has been dealing with me about my calling and purpose. I know that I have a special place in my heart for woman not just because I'm  also a female but because I see and have experienced some of the same pain and struggles we as woman go through in life. So I feel compelled and lead by God to impart some God given wisdom on you. I finally have found my calling or my niche and its to help woman from all walks of life to discover their true worth and their TRUE PURPOSE.

  

    Oftentimes we give and give so much of ourselves in relationships that instead of it filling us up it only empties and depletes us! When love is REAL it should be a EVEN balance between the two; Not a tug of war on your heart strings. You deserve to be loved. you derserve to be happy; you deserve to have the relationship you want and not the one a man wants you to have. You have a voice and you have a choice, so choose life without limits; happiness without boundaries and LOVE without conditions.

      

God created Women to be loved respected and adored my their MALE mates, Not to be used as sex objects,baby incubators, punching bags or as a fling. But as you well know, (like I said in my previous blog) men can only do what we allow them to do to us. 

   

You have to realize your beautiful worth and why you were created and thats what I want to do, I want to sit down and be a coach to a woman that may be stuck and feeling worthless, a woman that wants more for her life, a woman that is tired a of dead-end relationship but you might need that support and push to get out and move on. I want to  be the voice of reason when nothing else makes sense in your life, I want to be your greatest supporter and at the same time tell you the honest truth holding no punches.

    So take this journey along with me and together we can heal and learn from eachother. Change isnt easy and it shouldnt be it is suppose to come with some struggle and pain because my favorite  quote is "Nothing beautiful is made without pain " and "happiness begins and ends with you.

My Prayer for you is this: 
 Dear lord I come before you as humble as I know to be, and I'm standing in the gap for a woman tonight that may be tired lost and weary. I ask that where ever she may be please touch her mind and heart now give her peace in the middle of her storm or circumstance. Change that situation that she may be in right now, give her clarity on the things that are cloudy to her right now. Oh Lord please comfort her protect her place a hedge of protection around her and her children right now. I aslo ask that when she finish reading this that the spirit of peace and calm comes over her and she has the strength to overcome any obstacle placed in her way. In Jesus name I pray Amen!!!!! 

Fasting And Praying

  Sorry that I haven't posted in a few weeks, but I was on a Holy Consecration with my church for 21 days. This consists of 21 days of prayer 3 times a day and denying yourself of certain pleasures like food, music, tv and if your married sex. During this time you go before God with your petition about things you need answers and help with that you cant get on your own. The bible says in Daniel 10:3 (MSG) I ate only plain and simple food, no seasoning or meat or wine. I neither bathed nor shaved until the three weeks were up. " Here Daniel is explaining the type of fast he committed to, he ate no starch and had no meat or wine  for 3 weeks only fruits and grains that came from the ground. People are known to do this fast even today hence the name of it is called The Daniels Fast. In the bible Daniel also expressed the reason for his fast in Daniel 9:3 (MSG) I turned to the Master God, asking for an answer—praying earnestly, fasting from meals, wearing rough penitential burlap, and kneeling in the ashes. I poured out my heart, baring my soul to God,"

Sometime we as women have to step down and turn away from the things of the world so that we can hear what The Lord is trying to say to us pertaining to our lives and well being. Our lives can be so busy and hectic at times  that we cant even hear what God wants our next step to be. We get hung up with the kids, the husband, the job and the household work, losing our selfs and  our happiness in every chore. For those of us that are single we get lose in every thought, in every broken relationship and all the mess our careers requires of us. After its all said and done we are left exhausted and empty in need of a spiritual refilling. We cant carry the whole world on our shoulders and we don't have too because we have a Father thats tells us to cast our cares on him because His yoke is easy and His burdens is light. He wants us to rest and relax for a moment from life's issues. Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." 

  God is telling us to find rest and peace in him: need answers? Come to Him and He will help you. How do we do this? By fasting and praying and bringing all our cares, fears and concerns to Him. Prayer is very powerful but along with fasting its life changing. You can see things clearer hear God better and gain a powerful insight  for your life. So on this 21 day consecration I asked God to change my ways, help me with fear and doubt that paralyzes me from moving forward. I also prayed for my family, friends and a better relationship with Him. Even though my church does this only once  a year to start our New Year off right, I've learned thar we have to  make this apart of our everyday life style because there is nothing more frustrating than wanting to hear from God and cant! So my pledge today Feb 3,2014 at 435pm is that I will fast 3 days out of every month to build a better prayer life and relationship with God. My prayer is also that you would join me in this life changing journey but even if you don't its ok because this is also a journey that is suppose to come from the heart not persuasion. I will say this, if your life seems to be out of order add prayer fasting and God in it and all things will fall in place.

The Touch Part 2

  When we were little girls,some of us jumped rope, played hopscotch, dressed up in our mothers clothes,used her makeup and we pretended that our favorite cabbage patch kid was our baby and we played house like we were a mother. We dreamt of being married to our favorite superstar crush (mines was Ralph Tresvant) and living in a big house with 2.5 kids and a dog. We wanted the prettiest white wedding dress and to live happily ever after.

  In our little world things were perfect we didn't have a care in the world, until we went to sleep and saw the boogie man in our closets, under our beds or in our dreams. Some of us are still having that same dream today. As children we are so trusting except to the strangers that our parents told us not to talk too. I listened but unfortunately it wasn't a stranger that touched me wrong, it was someone I knew very well.

  So now lets fast forward years later into our adulthood we are grown now some of us are even mothers now raising our own kids to the best of our ability, but something isn't right!  Your past wont allow you to forget what happened to you and it either made you 1 of 3 things sheltered and paranoid promiscuous or it drives to you find comfort in the same sex. All which are un natural acts which stems from being violated. Can you relate? For me when I was young I was promiscuous, I called it being sexually free, in reality I was giving my body away for love, attention and affection not for the sexual aspect of it.

  I was getting kisses, the hugs, the caressing and making believe it was love and with all of that I was good but the guy wasn't, he wanted much more because after a few more times of  that and then saying  we have to stop, they're not trying to hear that!! So it happens... Someone touched me wrong again but this time I gave him permission. I gave him permission to say things that stroked my ego. I gave him permission to tell me lies, I gave him permission to take the very special thing that I was suppose to give to my husband one day. I was left empty, unfulfilled and tainted.

How many  times have you given someone permission to TOUCH you wrong? Whether sexual, physical or emotional? If it hurts when its happening its a WRONG TOUCH. I'm sure you are saying how did I give him permission to hit me? You didn't at first but if you stayed after the first hit, then you gave him permission to do it again. This wasn't our plan as a child we were suppose to get married and live happily ever after right??

  So now you are left heart broken, wounded emotionally also left with a child to raise all alone. So we learned our lesson right?? Wrong! Because that little girl inside of us is still searching for a place to drop the pain off and a man that will make all the hurt go away. It took me getting tired of the fake relationships, the lonely nights, the crying and the CRAZY men I was meeting to realize that I deserved so much more and that I was worth the wait and my past does not dictate my present situation especially not my future.

  My sister no matter what your past looked like and no matter what mistakes you have made because of misguidance or pain, I want to let you know that you are  NOT what you did and what went on in your life doesn't define the woman that you were born to be. What didn't kill you only came to make you stronger and even  though your bent you are NOT broken. We as woman have to realize that we control our happiness and joy. We must also be more patient and careful when selecting a mate. Don't allow depression, low self esteem  and self hate to make that life changing decision for you. Get help for any past issues or talk to someone that can be a great support system for you. Get back to loving you again before you allow someone into your life. Ladies, men can sniff out a woman that is desperate, vulnerable, that has low self esteem and that doesn't love herself and has no self worth. Men being conquerors by nature will go in for the kill when they know all of this.


  Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting the same type of men ? Men that are married,in a relationship, abusive and emotionally unavailable to you? They seem to be so attracted to you right? Its not because your so pretty and so irresistible its because your giving off  negative pheromones. While it may be true that you can have any man you WANT however, every man you want may not WANT you! Let that simmer a for little bit. Please know that while I'm writing this blog its helping me also to realize This Womanz Worth.  If we want better, we have to do and require better for our lives. We were created by God as a SPECIAL GIFT to man; not to be his door mat, side piece or punching bag. We have a purpose on this earth and its not what your past says it is, its what you say it is. So live and love yourself so much that when that man finds you, he has to love you the same way that you love yourself.

  When we keep finding ourselves in this dead end relationships that all end in heartache or leave us feeling jaded, We have to start looking at the elephant in the room which is US. My goal is to help a woman that may feel like she has to settle for the first man that show here some attention because of past mistakes. Not so! You are worth the wait and you are worth being loved and cared for.
 My hope is that this blog touches the very core of your heart and soul and that something  I said replays continuously in the  back of your mind.

Here is my prayer for you.....

Father I come humbly before you the best way that I know how. I come on the behalf of every woman that is reading this blog, Father I ask that you touch every woman and meet them at their very need according to your will. Show them their true worth; place joy back into their hearts and lives. I come against low esteem, suicide, depression, promiscuity, self hate, emptiness, past pain and old scars. Father show them how beautiful they are and how unique you made each one of them, comfort them Father and let them know you always are there when ever they need to talk and unlike man you will never leave them nor forsake them. Give them a good night sleep, stir up their gifts and talents, give them business ideas and confidence to go back to school and get their GED or degree. Father I also want to speak a special prayer for all the single mothers that may have given up on love, wrap your arms around them until they regain their self worth. In  Jesus name I pray Amen!

  I hope this has help someone and I while know it wont reach everyone and this isn't everyones story, you may know someone that is dealing with type of issue, if so please send them the link. Thanks for reading please comment and follow. See you next week.



 

The Touch Part 1

  In my first entry I asked you to take this journey of healing and change with me and I hope that you will. So as you continue to read this entry, I want  you to go back to you childhood along with me and together lets pull these bandages off these wounds that obviously didn't heal but actually got infected and spread down into our adulthood. No one put ointment on these wounds and they didn't even take us to the hospital for proper treatment . Why? Because some of us never told our parents we got hurt and if we did, they didn't believe us, or did nothing except COVERED IT UP with a bandaid.
Are you ready? Let the healing began.

  When a baby is born the VERY first priority for a parent is protection and shielding that baby from any hurt harm or danger throughout their young life. While we know its virtually impossible to protect a child from every fall, bump, bruise and every inch of pain, its the parents responsibility to help with the healing process of the bump  or bruise by kissing it and making it feel better.

  A baby's MOST IMPORTANT need besides food and shelter is TOUCH. It is very important in growth and the development of the baby.
During the WWII a rather brutal experiment was performed on 2 groups of infants. The first group of infants were held,rocked, TOUCHED and stimulated in a physical manner. The second group of infants were fed and changed but not held or TOUCHED in any other manner. The first group of babies thrived and grew into well function, while many of the babies from group 2 died and failed to thrive that the experiment was called off. See Link Below:

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15173/1/The-Importance-of-Touch-in-Parent-Infant-Bonding.html

So you see touch is a matter of life or death and is very important. Even as adults  a hug, holding of hands, a warm kiss, a hand on a shoulder showing support or encouragement,laying in the arms of the one you love is very important and soothing to the human heart, mind ,body and soul. But the wrong touch can and will have a traumatizing  affect whether  consciously or subconsciously  the affect is lasting. I'm talking about molestation, rape, physical abuse and even abandonment by a parent for most of  us its a father that walked out on us. ( I'll be talking about that in another blog real soon).

  This is for my sisters that once you saw those horrible words it  produced chills, anger or even a vivid vision of that once dark place from our childhood. Yes I said our because I'm  not exempt from these words I type.  I was violated 3 times  ages 6 and  9, once by my mothers male friend, and twice by my mothers boyfriend (I thank God penetration wasn't involved). After that second time I would go outside to play when I know we has coming over and didn't come back in the house until I knew he was long gone.  Do you remember your Ordeal?

  What must be going through a child's mind when this awful act is happening ? We just want it to be over! We close  our little eyes and think of a happy safe place until the ordeal is over. We say what happened too the protection our parents promised us? Where were they when these demons from the pit of hell came and damaged the innocence of that beautiful little girl they use to hold in their arms protecting us for this very danger?????  Somewhere there was a breach in protection; At home,at school, at a relative's house, by a parent, at a party even in the streets.  Where ever or what age your violation happened.....IT HAPPENED!!

  This person didn't have permission to touch us. Some gained our trust only to break that very same trust. For some of you it tore down the very foundation changing you forever. For the rest of us we took it put it in the back of our mind in a black metal box to remember it no more. So we thought!  I  know its hard to talk about or even think about. While I'm here giving my testimony, this is a healing for me as well. I want you to know that you did nothing wrong and you didn't deserve what happened to you nor is it your fault. What didn't kill us only made us STRONGER. We may be bent but we are not broken.
My sister my hope for you is that you find healing in this blog and although its a painful touchy subject its necessary for the next step of moving on in life and overcoming  this situation  to be a BETTER you not a BITTER you. The people that violated us are sick individuals that also may have been victims themselves. I say this because I know of some victims that became a predator themselves because they  too were TOUCHED wrong. Its a demonic plague that has to  be stopped; A curse that has to be broken and pulled up from the roots to die.  Addressing it and having support is the only way to heal my sister. We even have to pray and forgive the person that violated us, not them but for us!!! I'm talking about this because its one of the reasons our life's as young woman have been  disrupted  with periods of loneliness fear and doubt. We made some bad decisions because of what has happened to us in the past and we cant seem to get it right. Thats why I'm blogging to help change the negative  mindset of woman with the same issues Ive overcome and still dealing with now.  Here Is My Prayer:

Heavenly Father I come to you as humble as I know how. I Ask right now Father to give comfort and strength  to every woman that is reading this blog . Help her to find the complete peace within herself.  Help her to get  that  joy and happiness back to put the past behind her and for it to never hinder her life again. When it tries to show its ugly head again give her the ultimate power to rebuke it and send it back to the pit of hell from which it came. Help her know she is beautiful worthy of love and happiness again. Father I want to even pray for  those individuals that violated us, where ever they may be God I ask you to convict them in their spirit for what they have done as you give us the will power to forgive them and ourselves.
In Jesus Name Amen.

Thank you for you time and comments and  please join me again for Part 2 of The Touch next week.

Intro

    Hello to all my beautiful sisters. I'm so excited about my first blog entry because I've been delaying this assignment for such a long time,but now its time for me to spread my wings and fly. 
  
  Over the next few months, my entries will be words of encouragement,passion, overcoming pain,anger,hurt,depression,frustration,abandonment and fear. I will be coming from a place that  was dark but now light shines upon it. These entries will contain wisdom and strength to the female mind.
  
 My goal is to help another Sistah REALIZE her TRUE WORTH,while  I know that every woman KNOWS her worth, we all just need a little help realizing and believing it. I am a woman of many mistakes and tribulation, I'm also the recipient  of Gods Grace and His mercy. So I've earned the painful right to share a life changing  word to help another woman realize her worth even if she feels worthless.

 I know my entries wont reach or be received by every female and that's fine, but if I can change just one young or older woman's life, I've done my job. So please  take this journey of healing and change with me so we can all start  our 2014 off with a WOMANZ WORTH bang.